Indian wedding is a sea of endless emotions.
On one side you are ecstatic at marrying the one guy who knows you inside out and can race your heart even in a crowd of endless people. But, at the same time, the pathos of leaving behind a family that made you who you are, the father who held your tiny fingers and shaped your ideology, belief, career, and character; the mother who nurtured you selflessly, stood like a rock when the rest of the world started to disintegrate and of course, the sister who was always your partner in crime, who was privy to all those dirty dark secrets and who nursed your heart when it was first shattered, who took all those endless trips to the mall to pick the perfect dress and who indulged in all your whims – you leave all of this behind only to know that your father will no longer be your morning alarm, your mother will no longer be the breakfast in bed service and your sister will no longer be your tissue box.
Yes, the adventure of a new life awaits but on my wedding day, the tears didn’t stop, not once, because the emotions were flowing like a river that had more water than what the banks could hold.
The emotions were on a high like the sky which pours as if on a mission to submerge every damn thing.
Leaving them behind, I felt a part of me break as if someone took away me from me.
My husband held my hand, comforted me, gave his strong shoulder to rest the wobbly heart but the tsunami of tears didn’t oblige. It still ached for that strong arms that held me when I had first fallen, it still ached for that sly smile mother gave when she knew I was up to mischief and the twinkling eyes of the baby sister because she knew even before I said what we were up to.
My husband is a patient man, he understood what I wanted and that regardless of the depth of our love, this was the pang of separation that had set forth the stream of endless tears and he did what I needed but didn’t realize – his shoulder and our entwined hands. The sobs started to ebb as the eyelids dropped and off I went in the land of dreams, still courting the childhood I had left behind.
1.5 years later
One and a half years have passed since my wedding and even today, a day doesn’t pass without me talking to my doting dad, darling mum and of course, the angel sister.
Today is one of those days when the memories have resurfaced much stronger. We have all grown in these years and made adjustments to the new schedule. I have settled at my in-laws’ place but on some nights, I want to cuddle up in bed, next to my sister and giggle without having to worry about waking up to the alarm. I want to sleep in my father’s lap as we reminisce all the old moments that are now gold.
Daddy dearest, the memories are flowing too strong.
There’s no occasion but the desire to meet him is on the rise. I call him up and then disconnect the call even before it goes through because somehow I know I will break down on the phone and he told me a hundred times that he can battle the toughest challenges but can’t bear the sound of my tears when I am not close enough for him to give me a magical hug.
I know exactly what would lift my spirit and I dig my laptop to find this precious gem.
This is not just a Selfie.. it is so much more, a million emotions wrapped in a single canvas of brilliance. There are a hundred reasons as to what makes this selfie a cherishable moment.
It was taken less than a month after my marriage as my father had come all the way near my in-laws’ place to surprise me. He told that he had gone too many days without seeing my face and he just wanted to once look at me and hug me and lock the memories one more time. I had smiled and cried and had NOT known what to speak.
We stood there amidst a crowd but for us, it was just the two of us – the dad and daughter duo. My sister stood right beside not wanting to break the moment.
He took me to one of my favorite restaurants and then to much of our surprise, he took out his phone and said, “what do you guys call this – selfie right?”
I and my sister looked at each other puzzled as dad struggled a little and then wham went the click and voila here it was – papa’s first selfie.
I knew he was missing me terribly and there was a part of him that regretted the time we would have to part all over again. I had always been the one to click a selfie and post it on Facebook. He found that nagging but he did both of it and once again the tears flew but I quickly hid them because I knew this moment was more precious and something I would always hold on to.
There are a million books that glorify the love of a mom and daughter but this selfie alone epitomizes the bond between me and my father because he is the one right in the world full of wrongs that can set every curve straight for me.
As I keep on tracing the contours of this picture and courting old memories, the phone buzzes one more time.
‘Papa’ it reads and I know that despite the 1.5 years of marriage, somehow our hearts are still connected enough for him to know what I want even before I tell him.
As I pick his call, he told me how he was missing me dearly and then I tell him
about what I was doing to remember the good times.
“You know I just read today about the new Mobiistar brand. I was wondering if you would like their new mobile as your birthday gift after all we all know your selfie fetish. It comes with a promising selfie camera as you can capture a wide 120-degree wide angle shot. Your selfie experience will definitely improve manifold as it has a front dual selfie camera. The moment I saw it, I remembered how I struggled to take my first selfie with you and you girls couldn’t help but giggle at me. Now, the next time we meet I am going to take a perfect selfie which will capture all of us together so that you two devil sisters won’t make fun of my camera skills anymore. Now that I know how to place an online order, I can get you Mobiistar on Flipkart easily for your birthday.”
I laugh, giggle, cry and do what not because isn’t the perfect life a cascade of too many beautiful selfie moments?
Somehow I feel like I am lying on his lap and laughing like a carefree child just the way I did.
Guess what, I will wrap this post here because I am going home because
“Home is where the heart is.”
I love you, Papa.