In this maddening crowd chained with too many shackles,
her rebel spirit crumbles a little.
How long would it be before
dusk would give way to dawn!
Tired of the melodramatic pangs and the speedbreakers
that intersperse every alley
She wonders if she will ever sail on waters
that would take her home
It’s been a while since the times
the winds rushed through the unkempt hair
Oh you gypsy soul!
Why do you seek the home you grew
when the spirit is meant to be set free!
From dust we come to dust we go,
yet the heart craves to hold
The rugged remains of yesterday
because what are we but stories!
Nostalgia plays foul one more time
It is the rebel’s strongest muse
When the ticking clock scowls at the gypsy soul
Reminding that even the stars are going to sleep
Nostalgia whips up another tale
A fresh muse and a new prose
But those heavy eyelids refuse to drop
Shedding tears of remembrances
Societal norms, flawed logic
When shall you grow up big messy world
The gypsy soul of the little rebel
Seeks the home amidst the shackled confines
One more time,
One more time.
The sin which the world calls as chocolate is nothing but brown edible love which truly melts the insides of my fluffy heart.
God damn, I want more!
Sometimes in the silence,
If you listen close enough
You can hear the cacophony of sound
That somehow doesn’t feel chaotic
Maybe in the darkness, the pangs
Of the vicious loneliness
Feeds on whatever it finds
To satiate the unquenchable thirst
Indian wedding is a sea of endless emotions.
On one side you are ecstatic at marrying the one guy who knows you inside out and can race your heart even in a crowd of endless people. But, at the same time, the pathos of leaving behind a family that made you who you are, the father who held your tiny fingers and shaped your ideology, belief, career, and character; the mother who nurtured you selflessly, stood like a rock when the rest of the world started to disintegrate and of course, the sister who was always your partner in crime, who was privy to all those dirty dark secrets and who nursed your heart when it was first shattered, who took all those endless trips to the mall to pick the perfect dress and who indulged in all your whims – you leave all of this behind only to know that your father will no longer be your morning alarm, your mother will no longer be the breakfast in bed service and your sister will no longer be your tissue box.
Yes, the adventure of a new life awaits but on my wedding day, the tears didn’t stop, not once, because the emotions were flowing like a river that had more water than what the banks could hold.
The emotions were on a high like the sky which pours as if on a mission to submerge every damn thing.
Leaving them behind, I felt a part of me break as if someone took away me from me.
My husband held my hand, comforted me, gave his strong shoulder to rest the wobbly heart but the tsunami of tears didn’t oblige. It still ached for that strong arms that held me when I had first fallen, it still ached for that sly smile mother gave when she knew I was up to mischief and the twinkling eyes of the baby sister because she knew even before I said what we were up to.
My husband is a patient man, he understood what I wanted and that regardless of the depth of our love, this was the pang of separation that had set forth the stream of endless tears and he did what I needed but didn’t realize – his shoulder and our entwined hands. The sobs started to ebb as the eyelids dropped and off I went in the land of dreams, still courting the childhood I had left behind.
1.5 years later
One and a half years have passed since my wedding and even today, a day doesn’t pass without me talking to my doting dad, darling mum and of course, the angel sister.
Today is one of those days when the memories have resurfaced much stronger. We have all grown in these years and made adjustments to the new schedule. I have settled at my in-laws’ place but on some nights, I want to cuddle up in bed, next to my sister and giggle without having to worry about waking up to the alarm. I want to sleep in my father’s lap as we reminisce all the old moments that are now gold.
Daddy dearest, the memories are flowing too strong.
There’s no occasion but the desire to meet him is on the rise. I call him up and then disconnect the call even before it goes through because somehow I know I will break down on the phone and he told me a hundred times that he can battle the toughest challenges but can’t bear the sound of my tears when I am not close enough for him to give me a magical hug.
I know exactly what would lift my spirit and I dig my laptop to find this precious gem.
This is not just a Selfie.. it is so much more, a million emotions wrapped in a single canvas of brilliance. There are a hundred reasons as to what makes this selfie a cherishable moment.
It was taken less than a month after my marriage as my father had come all the way near my in-laws’ place to surprise me. He told that he had gone too many days without seeing my face and he just wanted to once look at me and hug me and lock the memories one more time. I had smiled and cried and had NOT known what to speak.
We stood there amidst a crowd but for us, it was just the two of us – the dad and daughter duo. My sister stood right beside not wanting to break the moment.
He took me to one of my favorite restaurants and then to much of our surprise, he took out his phone and said, “what do you guys call this – selfie right?”
I and my sister looked at each other puzzled as dad struggled a little and then wham went the click and voila here it was – papa’s first selfie.
I knew he was missing me terribly and there was a part of him that regretted the time we would have to part all over again. I had always been the one to click a selfie and post it on Facebook. He found that nagging but he did both of it and once again the tears flew but I quickly hid them because I knew this moment was more precious and something I would always hold on to.
There are a million books that glorify the love of a mom and daughter but this selfie alone epitomizes the bond between me and my father because he is the one right in the world full of wrongs that can set every curve straight for me.
As I keep on tracing the contours of this picture and courting old memories, the phone buzzes one more time.
‘Papa’ it reads and I know that despite the 1.5 years of marriage, somehow our hearts are still connected enough for him to know what I want even before I tell him.
As I pick his call, he told me how he was missing me dearly and then I tell him
about what I was doing to remember the good times.
“You know I just read today about the new Mobiistar brand. I was wondering if you would like their new mobile as your birthday gift after all we all know your selfie fetish. It comes with a promising selfie camera as you can capture a wide 120-degree wide angle shot. Your selfie experience will definitely improve manifold as it has a front dual selfie camera. The moment I saw it, I remembered how I struggled to take my first selfie with you and you girls couldn’t help but giggle at me. Now, the next time we meet I am going to take a perfect selfie which will capture all of us together so that you two devil sisters won’t make fun of my camera skills anymore. Now that I know how to place an online order, I can get you Mobiistar on Flipkart easily for your birthday.”
I laugh, giggle, cry and do what not because isn’t the perfect life a cascade of too many beautiful selfie moments?
Somehow I feel like I am lying on his lap and laughing like a carefree child just the way I did.
Guess what, I will wrap this post here because I am going home because
“Home is where the heart is.”
I love you, Papa.
Thy inner child,
May it never die
Peep a little from
The drapes that engulf melancholy
The pristine color of the soul
Blends with the echo of peace
The falling drops on the window sill
Etches a memory locked within
Of paper boats and toothless laugh
Of carefree grins and those free falls
Thou are still a little child
For the hands that fed
And helped you grow
Every time the Lord paints the window
With colors so few but memories anew
One more time, I take a tumble
To the lanes, I left the pieces
Of the puzzle that makes me whole
Incomplete but full in my form
Methinks my inner child
Has refused to grow.
From paper boats to imperfect verse
From toothless laugh to reflecting memories
From carefree grins to subtle smiles
From free falls to stealing a tumble
I grew up and left the lanes
But this inner child of mine
Still takes me back to the times
And I smile and cry
At the beautiful irony of life
Ever since I moved to the secondary school after finishing my primary education, I had always wanted to go abroad to study. The very idea of studying at some of the top reputed universities with the best infrastructure lured me. I wanted to be part of the top alumni, the kind where I would be inspired to give my hundred percent and sometimes it is a healthy competition which ends up bringing out the best in us.
I had one of my cousins staying at the US and she was studying at the Harvard University. She often used to Skype us and narrated the tales of her universities. I wanted to be the same person. I saw how her parents always spoke of her with utmost pride and I wanted to emulate that.
However, one of the biggest hurdles that would come my way had to be the language. I wasn’t the best when it came to English. With the habit of conversing in vernaculars, I had a strong influence on my mother tongue. Now, don’t get me wrong; I do realize that every language has its own importance and we don’t need to run after one simply to ensure that we are better than the others.
But, when I dreamt of studying at Harvard or likewise, there was no way I would get an entrance with my tenses all going for a drunken party every time I tried to frame a little long sentence. It was later when I was appearing for my board exams that I heard of PTE and instantly I realized that this is precisely what could be my ticket to my dreams.
Of course, my hard work, commitment, and learning ensured that my hold over the English language was quite better but the tenses still sometimes took me for a ride because the present past continuous baffled me and was often one of my worst nightmares.
So, let us see some more details about PTE
What is PTE?
PTE stands for Pearson test of English academic and it is mainly a computer-based language test which helps the candidates in improving their proficiency in the English language. The best thing is that it has an international credibility as there are numerous PTE centers all over the world.
The test is a single 3-hour test and it comprises of a lot of different modules which makes a thorough examination of your English language skills. It is accepted for the study applications by thousand of institutes all over the world and 96% of the UK universities. Some of the top names include
- AAAR Institute of Business &
- Abbey College Australia
- Royal Embassy of Saudi Arabia
- British Columbia Institute of
- Capilano University
- College of the Rockies
- UNICAMP – University of Campinas
- Trent University
- University of Guelph
- Zealand Institute of Business and
- Birmingham College
- Birmingham College of Business
- Birmingham Management Training
- London College of Finance &
- London College of Information
- London College of International
As I knew about it, I took up the PTE preparation course and so I got hold of the best online practice materials and started working diligently for it. There were a lot of different packages and I chose the ones that were best suited for me.
After putting in my hard work, I finally gave my exam and today I am proud to say that I aced my grades at the Oxford University. I didn’t go to Harvard but nonetheless, I am happy with my selection because I realized that we all needed to seek our own identity rather than blindly following someone else. #Definitely PTE turned out to be the true game changer for me.
Having the right language recognition is imperative or else you feel like despite having the right educational backing, you somehow lose yourself in the rat race called the career.
So, are you going to ace the PTE test today? Check out this video for more details. #DefinitelyPTE made all the difference to my life.
Also, grab hold of this link for all the info you may need to give the right shape to your career by making apt use of this English test.