It is no surprise that I love letters; all types of letters. The fact that I have written more than received is another thing. When I stumbled upon this amazing 30 day letter challenge HERE, I was jumping a bit too high for my own comfort. I might not write all of these, but I am definitely going to try.
The prompt for day 3 is a letter to your parents.
Now, I don’t know how much to divulge and how much to hide because unlike others, I am not really that brave to divulge a few details which frankly I have kept hidden for too long. So, there will be fabrications, half truth and hidden lies in here. But, I will try and be as honest as I possibly can be.
I have loved you even before I knew the spelling of love. First, I thought I would write two separate letters, addressed to mommie and father but then I guess it’s better to club them together coz there are things I would like to tell the two of you.
Just like parents are not supposed to choose between the two children, children are not supposed to do the same with their parents too. However, I am guilty of always picking my father over my mum. I don’t know how, when and why it happened, but it did. It’s not like I don’t love you mum, but somehow my bond with my father has always been stronger.
I know it has hurt you various times because there have been occasions when all of us were on one side and you had no one to tell why the world felt so wrong. However, this by no means infer that I don’t love you coz I do and I know that deep down, you know it too.
However, this letter isn’t about professing love, it is about all those things which I did when you would think that I should not.
While you both love me, the only thing which I regret is that you perhaps share a larger love for the society which frankly someday kills me a lot. I want both of you to see me and love me for who I am rather than try and make me something which the society is going to love and accept.
Yes, I have a lot of flaws and I never grew up, but so what? Aren’t children supposed to be children? I will grow up when the time really comes, but for now, can’t I be the silly, little girl who has always been close to you? Why do you have to try so hard to make me socially acceptable? These are the days when I truly question what is greater – the love for me or the love for the version which you want to see. Regardless, I know that deep down in your heart, you would do just about anything to keep me safe and that indeed is the highest form of love.
It is not like I do not have regrets because yes, I have broken a bit too many rules; the rules you still don’t know existed and the rules you still do not know I broke, but I did. There are times when my conscience did prick me for doing so, but in the end, I know I did what is right and not wrong. Sure, we may have a little different perception of right and wrong, but then if you ever did love me, which I am sure you do, you would know and accept and forgive me.
The kind of love I share for you is so intense that it scares me to even think of any changes wherein my world is not going to revolve around you. I can’t fathom that moment and I am never going to be strong enough to let you go. I love you more than I ever thought I can love anyone. I know, regardless of the number of times I fall and the innumerable mistakes I make, if there is one thing that will never change; it will be us, our bond and the everlasting love.
I am blessed to have parents who love me like I am a part of them and this is one of the best gift God ever bestowed upon me. For that, I can’t thank you enough God. Stay by me, even when I am wrong because I will always be your little kid who refuses to grow up.
Apologies for the mistake you don’t know I have made.
With love that increases every day,