I have a story and it’s not a love story.. Some stories are about love.. The different shades of love.. Not the lovers love and yet they talk of love.. This is one among them..
The prompt at IndiBlogger hosted by British Airways:
How Far Would You Go To Get Closer To Someone You Love?
I love being a baby.. Life is simpler from the eyes of a child.. I had more questions but they were simpler.. There was nothing Daddy couldn’t answer and there was nothing chocolate couldn’t fix..
But, alas I couldn’t stop time.. I couldn’t control my age.. I grew up and as I grew, so did my questions.. They were no longer simple..they were no longer silly.. They became hard.. They were tough.. Daddy couldn’t answer all and I couldn’t ask all.. One question particularly hurt..
Why I don’t have a brother?
I couldn’t ask it to my dad.. I was grown up enough to knew it would hurt.. I knew technically the ifs, but and what but silly heart always craved to feel the warmth of a brother’s hug..
While my friends discussed their latest crush and stayed awake in night talking of the handsome hunks, I often wondered what I would have felt if I had a brother who would love me with all his heart..
I read somewhere that we always miss the things we do not have.. I think it is true.. I have a sister and I adore her but there are days I cry.. And I cry buckets because
I want to have a brother who would tell me to shut up when I talk about my hot crushes..
I want a brother who would shoot me death glares when I shamelessly stalk pictures of bloggers I truly like..
I want a brother who would hold me tight and whisper its alright.. It will be alright as he will always be by my side..
I want a brother for all this and more…
No, God didn’t answer any of my prayer.. I have uncountable number of cousins but none had the tug I desperately sought.. It probably made the ache hurt even more..
And then one day finally God smiled…
I met someone.. He was goood.. He issss goooddd.. We spoke.. We discussed.. And then all of a sudden I asked, out of the blues,
“Be my brother please”.
Now, I really do not wish all guys to be my brother, but the ones I truly like.. The ones I adore.. The ones I look up to, the ones I love.. I ask them..
Mostly they agree.. Some of them don’t.. Sometimes I like hearing no too, but this time, I wanted a yes and yes it was.. No questions..
In fact, he told..
“You’ve given me an extremely expensive gift, my beloved sister… Be sure now, the bond is not to be broken.. Not today, not tomorrow, not forever, not even after forever..”
Who says life is a bitch… Life is a present.. A beautiful present.. My life just got awesome.. The only glitch was he lived far far away.. While I was in India, he lived faraway in the suburbs of London.. We skyped almost daily, we even spoke, messaged.. So there was the touch.. The tug..
He knew all my dark secrets.
He knew the boys I stalked.
He knew the colors I loved
He knew the words I hated and every single detail which my brother would have known…
Life was going great but nothing is promised forever.. Speedbreakers are always lurking just behind the corner.. Life happens and shit too..
I have never been in love.. When I love, I LOVE with all my heart.. I NEVER learnt how to let go.. No one taught me that.. Back in India, we are supposed to marry the guy our parents pick.. I knew I had to.. There wasn’t a choice and I never needed one.. I knew my fate and I was okay with it.. But Destiny isn’t always your best mate..
I fell and I fell hard for a guy.. I didn’t want to.. I tried not to but some things just happen.. He had a beautiful soul.. He was just perfect in ways I didn’t know people could be.. Suddenly, all my pathetically romantic poems started making sense.. I had never been in love.. So, I didn’t know if it was LOVE.. That’s when I asked my London brother.. He laughed and laughed and laughed some more..
“Yes, dearest little baby sister, you’ve got it bad.. You’re drowned in the sea of love and make sure not to waste any time and go and romance the love of your life..”
While he was happy beyond words, I broke up on the phone.. I told him I wasn’t supposed to love.. What will happen when I have to marry someone else.. I wanted life to be simpler.. I want to un-love!?!?!??
It was perhaps the longest Skype chat I had with him.. He spoke for four or five hours and told me love is a gift.. Life is a journey meant to enjoy the gifts… May be, the puzzles will fall in place.. I need to give love a chance and so I did.. And God, for the first time in my life, I felt so alive… It was like someone just pumped ten extra bottles of blood.. My face was oozing happiness until the dreadful day when I heard
I was getting married
And just like that… In that one second.. My life crashed.. In a billion shards of red.. I was but a myriad of broken hearts..
I had no strength to tell the love of my life.. How broken I truly was… I took the coward’s way out.. I broke up with him.. Told him, there was no future, we are not clicking and to see him so broken killed me.. I bled and bled some more.. Nothing felt right and I had nowhere to go..
Right then, my phone buzzed.. Beloved brother, right when I needed the most.. He was the one person who knew it all..
The strummings of my heart,
the beating of my soul..
I wouldn’t lie to him and so I cried and cried and told it all…
How it hurts,
how worse it is,
how much I hate my life..
Why I wish to die..
Yes, I was thinking of suicide..
But I knew I had family to think of too..
I love them too…
I didn’t know what to do..
Life wasn’t making sense..
I could have spoken to my dad but there are still families where love marriages are frowned upon.. Somewhere in my heart, I was afraid to kill the image of the perfect daughter.. I worshipped my dad and for the love of my life, I simply wanted to curl up in my bed.. Cry, cry and cry until I could die..
My brother talked to me.. He assured me
That things will fall in place.. I always believed him.. He never lied and then came the next big blow.. He had a new office assignment.. He had to leave and the remote area he was heading to was known for notorious tower reception.. The only person who kept me sane will be on a hiatus.. I wanted to catch the first flight to London and just hug him and cry and hear him whisper… It’s gonna be alright.. But nothing like this happened..
I would never make him lose his job.. So, I did something I was getting good at.. I faked being strong.. I told I would be alright and I whispered goodbye..
A few days rolled and for me, life seemed stripped of my favorite shade.. I was locked in lanes of grey..I was to be engaged in a couple of day’s time.. The big day was coming and my heart was gettting dead.. I didn’t know if I could face what life had in store for me..
As I was mulling over all of this, my father came in.. He looked tired, defeated, sad.. How it hurt to see him like that!! What had happened?
I asked him but he told to let him talk..
“In all these years, you never understood me. I thought my daughter was my world and you are. I thought you knew me better than I knew myself and today, it hurts to know.. You NEVER did at all trust me”
None of it was making sense… Obviously I trusted my dad.. Obviously I loved him.. I asked him what the matter was and he told,
“Screw the world and screw their thoughts.. If you LOVE someone, you should have told me… There’s no one I LOVE more than you.. The world can bitch, the world can bite but all I want is you to be alright..”
I started crying and told that I was scared of failing him.. We hugged. He told me my engagement was off and then as I gave a happy scream, the door opened and life just stopped..
Right on the gate stood two men I loved the most.. Okay, apart from my dad definitely.. One was the love of my life looking seriously handsome in his bright red tee and the other
Beloved brother who flew all the way from
It was he who came down here and explained the whole thing to my father.. He spoke to my love and narrated the tale.. He was the only one who knew it all.. He explained how I was dying a little everyday and he gave me my own happy ever after.. I asked him about his assignment and he told
“You can get another job… You can’t always get lucky with an insanely happy sister.. Somewhere in these months, my crazy little happy baby had died and even if I had to kick my job, travel across so many seas, I would happily do it all again because this bond is for keeps..
We are from different mothers, different cultures, but our hearts are conjoined.. It doesn’t mater how far it is, for the ones we love… We always manage.. I would have gone even further… There’s no end.. Your smile, our bond, this love… They were eternal and shall always be..
I love you little baby Sister.. I always had and I always will…”
This is my story and I will still say its not a love story…. Its a L.O.V.E. story..
For someone you love, you can go to the deepest point of hell as well. Love is a mighty emotion. who says the best love stories are only about husband and wife. Sure, I was happy to be united with my love, but my beloved brother.. he gave me the fairytale, all girls dream of.
This post is a part of Go further to Get closer competition hosted by British Airways at IndiBlogger.
P.S. All Images have been linked to source.
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