When You’re At The END

~~In the shoes of…. “I don’t really know what this feeling” is called~~

The picture belongs to Al Forbes. I generally write poetry on pictures, but this picture just stood out… I couldn’t control my pen and I think I just could feel the words.. My heart goes out to all who feel this way.

I keep standing.. waiting for that one ray of light to feel alright.. for that one unheard whisper that tells me, it’s okay.. you can CRY..and yet the clock keeps ticking.. there’s no sound.. no whispering.. no hugging..It’s just me and my shadow.. and slowly as the sun hides in the tuft of white clouds that I once loved, the shadow too leaves me alone.. It feels screechingly haunted like someone came in and robbed me of me.. Am I really alive or in that one nano second, all the happiness just vanished and disappeared in thin air…

 

 

I walk the lonely miles.. I feel I am walking because the legs are moving but the mind seems to have stopped.. the heart doesn’t seems to register.. My eyes are strained.. I don’t know how long it has been since I blinked.. is it really necessary to blink? I see a mirror.. or I think it is a mirror.. there are ripples in it… might as well be a lake.. I don’t know.. my mind has alienated me.. the face that reflects.. It is a version of me.. Devoid and stripped of all the colors and the shades that made me who I was.. There are a pair of eyes but they don’t have any shine.. You can see hell in it.. I look hard and the shape doesn’t change.. no movement.. the face is still.. It might be a painting.. but then I don’t know what painting is.. Is it something that artists draw or is it a memory you lock forever in a canvas to hug close and never to let go…

 

No one is near.. No voices comfort me today.. far away an owl hoots.. perhaps he is looking for his wife, but who truly is a wife? they leave us too.. the deeper philosophical belief says, we come alone and we go alone and all the time in between is a break.. Is it really so? who thought all of this? How do we know the one who told this isn’t lying? I don’t know.. I will never know.. I just sit or I think I am sitting because my legs are not moving anymore…

 

 

I am TIRED.. the eyes are closing or I think they are closing.. I can’t see the clouds.. they seem too far.. The moon is shining high above.. There is a light but I can’t see it fully.. I feel blood, but I don’t really know what blood is.. I don’t know who I am.. I can’t understand what is going here.. I want to hug the eerie shaped moon.. I want to bathe in its light but my eyes can’t see anymore… Something is changing or I feel it is.. I don’t know.. I have never known… I Think I have to go..

 

I hear some words.. some whispering at last.. DON’T GO… YOU’RE STRONG… I smile or at least I feel, I smile.. if smiling is the movement of lips and fluttering inside the heart, I think I did smile.. I don’t know.. they are just the words I wanted to hear, but IT IS JUST TOO LATE.. The moon calls me.. the moon is my mate.. it heard my voice.. It wants me near.. forever and beyond, I have to go.. for too long, I stayed in a world that was NEVER my own.. Hurt, broken and scared.. IT IS THE TIME TO GO

 

 

Lifeless and dead

Alone she stood

Scared of the change

Hiding in a hood

To the moon she looked

The shine she loved

So long it was alone

She wailed and moaned

In the dead of the night

She committed suicide

The moon too cried

And it rained that night

Just a voice

Just one hug

Might have saved

A girl so bright

And yet no one came

It was too late

The moon still shines

But, only in the night