Disclaimer: Read at your own risk.Don’t unfollow my blog based on this post. This post will have an insane amount of creepy madness and a lot of vernaculars as well. I will try to be funny. Every time I try to be funny, I end up lame, but hey, I should be offered brownie points for trying. Okay, the disclaimer should have been a little smaller. Now, you already know I was serious about the disclaimer. You can leave but I want you to stay. I am so clingy. Right? One of my girlfriend calls me “desperate clingy” but then she loves me. Try and love this post. Who knows I may sprinkle some good luck on you. Okay, disclaimer officially ends.
Prompt: The Language Of The Future : What will it be like? This is by Project 365. (Probably some rules are there for backlinking.. I don’t know will have to check and edit.. this part was meant for me and not you to read not that I will slang you coz you read it :D)
:D :D :D
*grins the signature evil Shruti grin*
The Language of the future of course has to SHRUTI LIKE :P :P
I’ve this habit of making my own words and at least in the future, that is going to be the official lingo. so, ready for some bingo? :D I know, poor joke, but your fault, I had served the disclaimer already.
This would be the official good morning *with lots of love * because Wooossshhh is my favorite happy word.
No logic is the best logic. Those who do not know the magic of this magical word need to speak it out. You can never speak Wooossh without a smile and an extra increase of body size (because of bubbling of happiness inside)
If you did manage to say wooossh with a straight face, you need to see a psychiatrist. I know one and she is so haughty, mean and bitchier than a bitch.. so, you really do not want to see her which means SMILE and say WOOOSSH. Do it NOW. Did i go astray from the topic? I always do.
So, the Shruti language of tomorrow.. Hmm.. what should it be like. Let’s get talking of some new words which will feature.
Vulture: Now, you think vulture means that big bird which scares little girls? NO. Sorry to break your myth but in my dixxie (Dixie means dictionary, btw like piccie means picture, nighties means night, righties means right doggie means dog, kittiiie means cat, but wait cat is meoooww call a cat meoooww) Vulture is when you are secretly talking of vulgar things in an open forum and you want to tell others that you are having a secret conversation but do not want others to know what the conversation is. It is kind of telling hey something is cooking here but no you are not invited to eat. :D Mean as a bitch I know :P So, vulture replaces vulgar in the Shruti Lingo Bingo. Now, you might be thinking what happens to the English Vulture. Tough cookie to crack.. We will call it the big bird that scares little girl. Simple as a doughnut right?
JLT: I know, you think it is a common internet acronym that says Just Like That, but you can’t have it so simple, can you?
I’ve a habit of telling people not to argue with me because if they do, i will chop their tongues off. I know every one has a single tongue but my mum always doubted I had two and I’ve such a big fat heart that I give other people the privilege of having tongues rather than tongue. So, JLT will actually be a vernacular for Javvan Lenge Tumhari which roughly translates in English to I will cut off your bloody tongue. Obviously, someone has to hold that tongue for me because ewww icky :P
One of my really good friend whom I have often threatened to chop has always had a question as to how will he do some really important things without the tongue. Well, I am sure in the future times, you will be innovative enough to have a lot of substitutes already :D I know, none of you other than him got what I said. That’s my beauty. *secret talks*
*Shruti*: so, its my lingo bingo so how am I supposed to not be there? Okay, *BIG NARCISSIST ALERT*
Shruti would simply mean HOLY GOD HOLY FUNNILY AWESOME.
See, I know i am desperately terrible at being funny and okay, i suck at being awesome too (Really, is it so? I am not sure, I do think i am awesome, but I am trying to be modest). So, the lingo bingo of tomorrow would replace funnily awesome as shruti.
People would tell each other
Wow man, you’re so shruti
I wish i could be as shruti as you
Really, that was shruti
There was a time when i was so shruti, now i can only dream of being so shruti
I know you didn’t laugh. sigh, I am trying, give me the push.
I will seriously chop the tongue of the guy who challenged me to the prompt. I mean it is one thing being funny while talking and it is entirely another level to make a post upon it. I will make sure that the guy ends up telling me thank you 300 times because hello, I am sweating under the strain of this holy molly challenge.
RED: all things good will now be red. You have to compliment your girlfriend, say, “Oh man, you look so RED”
You’re happy, say, “I am so RED”
You just had a child.. say, “We had a RED child”.. Okay, may be not here. But, you do get the drift? Guys, you’re supposed to LOVE RED too because RED in itself is love and heck yes, my currency notes will by that time be RED.
Let us come to abbreviations of the shruti lingo bingo
WHA4E : This will be by God the most common and epic-est of all. Any guesses? Raise your hand, if there are any? Yes, that guy with green eyes and red shirt reading my blog, you got it right (Don’t judge me, I can at least imagine such a guy likes my blog, if not me.. yes, clingy desperate, i get it)
It stands for
We Have Abbreviation For Everything :P
WEUFF : Who Even Uses Full Forms?
IKSISA : I Know Shruti Is So Awesome :P
You really don’t want me to write more abbreviations, do you? Sigh, even the green eyed hottie didn’t say yes.
Slangs of my lingo bingo:D
A common man : Misplaced Apostrophe (because each one of us in the times to come would not know where to place an apostrophe)
An extremely intelligent person: You, Spelling Of the 19th Century (because spellings were so immaculate as B4 was before and not B4)
A total killjoy: Too Many Commas (TMC)
Mental: Shruti :D because I love madness
for all the rest, we have @#$5 @$% $%$^&* @@# GDHF %^() /*-*-8* because Shruti lingo bingo doesn’t believe in too much slanging :P
Here’s a sample in my seriously SHRUTI handwriting because I may not be pretty, but By GOD, my handwriting SO ROCKS THE ROCK :D
There are a few more words I use exclusively like
25 (Definitely, doesn’t means the number 25)
Howrah Bridge (Definitely, doesn’t means the actual bridge in Calcutta, India)
However, under no account, I will share the meaning of the same because
Some secrets are meant to be secrets just like some infinities are bigger than other infinities :D
However, despite my awesomeness, some things still stay the same
John Green’s Okay still is the FLIRT CODE
Love still needs no lingo bingo and is best expressed with RED hearts
Some people still prefer emoticons over my seriously awesome vocabulary
And I still sign my blog as
P.S. I swear I could’ve written better but Humor and I have always been at loggerheads.
Karan Sampat, you’re going to pay for this.
Those who made it till here, trust me, you’re going to have the BEST day today just because you made my day by bearing me so far and I am known to deliver good luck.
UPDATE: Learnt the rules
This post is a part of Project 365 program at We Post Daily